Imposter syndrome is much talked about and in this ninth of my short December podcasts on Mind-set I suggest you take a new approach to how you respond to the voice that holds you back.
I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.
I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.
If you’d like to explore Coaching, take a look at my Mindset Coaching here.
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Dinah
Speaker 1:
Hi there, I'm Diner Liver . Thanks for joining me on my podcast. And today it's day nine of my short December podcasts where I'm focusing on mindset. Today, I wanted to focus on a topic that has been, I suppose, spoken about or written about quite a lot recently. And at the risk of it feeling like a trend topic, I'm actually really pleased we're talking about it, and that's what we call imposter syndrome. I remember hearing many years ago , years people talking about imposter syndrome and saying, oh, it's one of those things that mainly affects women and mainly people in , um, positions that are not of authority. And of course, that's a complete myth. Um, everybody with the possible exception of narcissists, and we don't need to name them because that's only giving them attention, <laugh> . Um , but with the possible attention of real narcissists, everybody at some point in our lives and some more than others will have an experience of what people term imposter syndrome. And it's unique to everybody. It's different for everybody. But there's a kind of common theme, and what that theme is, is it's the voice in our heads that says, I can't do this because, and the because is the bit that'll be different. So it'll be because I'm not as clever as everyone else , uh, because I haven't got the experience they've got because I'll be the only woman in the room. That was certainly how I felt back in the eighties. Um, it all kinds of things. I'm not tall enough, I'm not bright enough, I'm too , uh, whatever. You know, for each of us, it is unique, but it's this voice and it makes us question our abilities or our self . And I guess it took me until I was probably into my forties before I stopped trying to get rid of that voice. I, I jokingly say, you know, I , I'm a world leading authority on imposter syndrome because I talk to mine every day. But here's the thing, on some level I do, and it took me until I was in my mid forties to think, actually, I think I know this voice. I think what I'm putting down and trying to rid myself of is actually that voice of, of the kind of teenage me, the voice that never got listened to or , um, that that felt very judged and like I didn't fit in. And so now I talk in a different way. When I hear that voice and I say, okay, this is one of those moments where I need to be the adult in the room. I need to reassure that doubt in my mind, that teenage voice and say, you know, what you are saying isn't based on current reality. What I'm telling myself is based on fear and often assumptions. And as an adult, I have proof that I can show that voice and say, it's okay. I've got this, I have the experience to deal with this. I have the right to have a seat at the table. But it's owning that and saying, I'm gonna listen to the adult in the room for a moment and allow it to reassure the doubting voice in your head. And you know what? Sometimes, sometimes the voice is showing you. This is something you need to look at for yourself. Sometimes it's saying, I'm not as confident on this particular issue as perhaps I try and convince myself I am . And maybe what I need to do with this is think so. How can I actually change the reality? How can I reassure the voice in my head and say, I have got this because I'm doing something about this. I'm learning new skills, or I'm asking for help, or I'm changing something. So instead of trying to dispel that voice this December, I'd like you to be kind and reassuring to the imposter in your head. I'd like you to, to let them know you have got this. Your experience now, your current years that you've been growing and developing are not what that voice is based on. So be kind, be a bit reassuring and be kind to yourself too. It's easy when we notice something we are doing to say, oh , look at me doing that again in a negative way. Notice instead that you can be kind. Notice instead
Speaker 2:
That you are ready and prepared to change a lifelong conversation. That's an amazing step to take, and that requires a complete change of your mind . I'd love to know how you get on and if you found this a useful podcast, I'd be hugely grateful if you'd share it with others. Join me tomorrow for the last in the series where we are going to look at what you have to celebrate about this year. Thank you for joining me. And remember, you really can stop trying to think outside that box . There never was a box .