When you're creating a new habit, to support a positive timeline, you are going to have days when you find yourself returning to old habits. You'll take a peek at the news, or un-mute that word. And that's okay, Today, I explore how failing can be integral to mindset change.
I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.
I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.
If you’d like to explore Coaching, take a look at my Mindset Coaching here.
I hope you’re enjoying my Podcasts. I’d love you to share them with someone you think would get something positive from them.
Dinah
Speaker 1:
Hi there I'm Dinah Leversedge. Thanks for joining me on my podcast and for joining me for this short series of podcasts for January about creating your own timeline today, I wanted to talk about how good we are at giving up when things go wrong. It's really easy to fail at things. You know, if it, if it wasn't, we we'd all be massive successes all the time, but that's really difficult. Failing at stuff is quite easy. And the trouble is that we tell ourselves a story that says, well, you say just like everybody predicted I didn't stick with it. I may as well give up or just as I knew would happen. As soon as I went on a diet, I got hungry all the time. Now I'm eating chocolate might as well quit the diet. I remember giving up smoking many, many years ago. I'm pleased to say now. Um, but I remember giving up smoking and telling myself this story about how difficult it was going to be. And then it wasn't one day I just stopped and I didn't use patches or gum or any of those things I just stopped. And I know now I stopped because I had prepared my mindset to change and I replaced it with a positive new habit. But today I really wanted you to think about that thing. That's going to happen with your timeline. It's happened to me already since my, my big, you know, moment of realization during 2020 that I had to change my timeline. I had to take ownership particularly on Twitter, because I had started to avoid a space that actually provided me with connection and support during isolation. But I had started to avoid it because of how ugly it become. And when I had my realization that I could change that it was my timeline. After all, I took out so many influences that the things that I knew were having a bad impact, a negative impact on my mindset. I had taken them all away and more than once I have found myself going and searching words, I've even seen that thing that comes up where it says, you can't see this tweet because it's by somebody you blocked or muted. And I thought, I really, really want, know what it's about. And I'm just about to unmute them and stopped myself and thought, Whoa, Whoa. You know, what's down that path. You know what that timeline looks like. There is no need to go back. And some occasions I haven't stopped myself. I've gone down the path and sure enough, within minutes I can feel a change in my body. My muscles get tight, my jaw kind of clenches up. And I even sometimes slightly grind my teeth. I'm holding in the anger. And I have to acknowledge that, that wonder back to the old timeline has a big impact, but here's the thing that doesn't mean I stopped and said, huh, can't do this timeline thing may as well, just not bother the next day I got up. And I started again, you know, all the big quotes about who had to fail to make the light bulb next hundreds of number of times, uh, et cetera. But here's the thing. Other people's experiences have very little impact on our own. If they're positive impacts are not something we see in our timeline of life. So make sure you're following people who like you are focusing on a positive timeline. If you have friends with whom you want to remain connected, but their timeline is always negative. Try telling them, try letting them know that you are working on changing your timeline. You're working on making it a positive space and you know what? It would be great. If they'd support you in that, perhaps you could support each other. They may feel more inclined to do something. If they know they're not doing it alone. And then on the days where you wobble and fall off, you can turn to each other and say, Oh, I found it tough yesterday. I really encourage you. No matter how many times you go back to, well, I've always had this timeline. I'm always going to stick with this timeline. Take some time to think about, is it worth trying again? Can I go for that positive timeline? Don't tie really deserve it. In the next episode, I'm going to talk to you about how I created a structure so that I have a positive daily timeline. And I did that to make it easier for myself. And so that I'd have fewer days where I reverted to the angry, old timeline. Thank you for joining me. I hope you've enjoyed it today. I do hope you'll be back and I'd love you to share the link to the podcast. Remember, stop trying to think outside that box. You're just boxing yourself into something that doesn't exist.