No Box Thinking ® with Dinah Liversidge

Create your own timeline - What to do when your timeline turns ugly

January 24, 2021 Dinah Liversidge Season 2021 Episode 7
No Box Thinking ® with Dinah Liversidge
Create your own timeline - What to do when your timeline turns ugly
Show Notes Transcript

You can give yourself permission not to engage with negative timelines! In this episode of my short January podcasts, I focus on how to dis-engage from the negative people and messages in your daily timeline. 

I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.

I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.

If you’d like to explore Coaching, take a look at my Mindset Coaching here. 

I hope you’re enjoying my Podcasts. I’d love you to share them with someone you think would get something positive from them. 

Dinah  

Speaker 1:

Hi there I'm Dinah Leversedge. Thanks for joining me on my podcast. And this January, I've made a series of 10 short podcasts with a kind of overall theme about creating your own timeline. All of this is about supporting our mindset to be open, to be ready for growth, to be focused on hope and looking forward with positivity and also being realistic about what to do when it feels more challenging and more difficult. This is the seventh episode. And today I wanted to share with you how you can help to change that timeline. When it turns ugly, it's about allowing yourself to say, I'm going to choose not to engage. I noticed in the middle of last year, just how many of us were sharing the really devastating things that were going on in the world. So no matter whose timeline you looked at and where you looked at it in social media, and even in people's blogs, we all were very touched by the, the sickness in the world. Um, and I say that both from the perspective of this terrible epidemic or pandemic, the virus we're living with, but also the sickness that seemed to have enveloped everybody's mental wellness. Um, there was a lot of anger, a lot of lies and a lot of name calling. And it felt to me like while this invaded our timelines, we then somehow felt the need to share that to, to say to all the people we cared about and has engaged with New York. Have you seen this awful thing? Tell me how you feel about it. And I found that the more I looked at this and the more I looked at people's responses often complete strangers. Of course, to me, the less positive I felt, the less in control I felt and the more, um, challenged, conflicted, miserable, you know, all the negatives. And when I decided I'm not going to engage in those posts anymore, something really significant happened. The first thing I did was I created a document and I've done this in the past. So I knew it worked for me, but I created a document which is protected by a password. Um, and every time I felt I wanted to rent back and getting involved in the discussion on that timeline, instead of putting it there on the public domain, I wrote what I felt this overwhelming need to say in this document. Um, I think I called it something like never, ever publish this. That's the actual name of the document. Um, and I found that it was very releasing to put the words down. I felt okay, I've sent them, I've done the thing. But then I found there was a much bigger benefit because by not sharing them, not adding to the anger or the stirring up, I helped bring the conversation to an end quicker than if I had added to it. It also meant that because I hadn't engaged with it, those secret little algorithms doing their work hadn't then spent the rest of the day telling me somebody else engaged with that post. You should probably go and see what they said. And as a result, that negative post did not reappear in my timeline. You know, the same thing can happen in your timeline of life. If you keep engaging with the people who know how to push your buttons, who know how to wind you up, if you keep engaging with that, they're going to keep pushing your buttons. It's when you decide I am no longer going to engage, I choose not to engage. You can break that and completely change how your time line looks every day. So I hope you've already got some thoughts in your head about what it is at the moment that your engaging with that. That's turning your timeline. Ugly stop. You can. No, no, you, you can stop. It is a choice to say that doesn't work for me. It's not good for my mental happiness or positivity. It takes me into, to a place that takes my focus away from what my daily intentions were. And it's going to nudge me all day and say, look, look, look at me again. I really encourage you to disengage with the things in your timeline that are doing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Join me for the next episode. When we're going to look at, in honesty, what is the focus you want in your timeline and what are you doing to create it? Thanks for joining me, do share the podcast with others. If you think it will help them to create a more positive timeline in their daily lives. I hope you'll join me for the next episode and do remember to stop. So just stop trying to think outside that box. It's not there.