No-box-thinking with Dinah Liversidge

Nurture and Nourish your Mindset: Setting boundaries

February 06, 2021 Dinah Liversidge Season 2021 Episode 12
No-box-thinking with Dinah Liversidge
Nurture and Nourish your Mindset: Setting boundaries
Chapters
No-box-thinking with Dinah Liversidge
Nurture and Nourish your Mindset: Setting boundaries
Feb 06, 2021 Season 2021 Episode 12
Dinah Liversidge

When we let other people impact our mindset, it is often because we have failed to set boundaries to protect ourselves.  Nourishing your mindset often comes from interaction with others, so we need to set boundaries to make sure we want the nourishment on offer.

I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.

I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.

If you’d like to explore Coaching, take a look at my Mindset Coaching here

I hope you’re enjoying my Podcasts. I’d love you to share them with someone you think would get something positive from them. 

Dinah  

Show Notes Transcript

When we let other people impact our mindset, it is often because we have failed to set boundaries to protect ourselves.  Nourishing your mindset often comes from interaction with others, so we need to set boundaries to make sure we want the nourishment on offer.

I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.

I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.

If you’d like to explore Coaching, take a look at my Mindset Coaching here

I hope you’re enjoying my Podcasts. I’d love you to share them with someone you think would get something positive from them. 

Dinah  

Speaker 1:

Hi there. I'm Dinah Leversedge. Thanks for joining me on my no box thinking podcast. This is the second in my February short podcasts, all about how we can nurture and nourish our mindset. Today. I wanted to talk about boundaries. You know, there's a flow that goes on whenever we work with talk to connect with communicate with anybody else. And there's a flow that goes back and forth between us. And if we don't set some kind of a boundary, then we have no control over what we let in. You know, bottles of chemicals or cleaning products have a symbol on them that says poison people don't have that symbol, but in our lives, we will come across people who, when we let them break those boundaries and the flow is such that they really impact our mindset. They can be as , as dangerous as that bottle of poison. And because people don't have that symbol, it's really important to get to know people before you let them impact your mindset before you let in their version of nourishment. You know, when we nourish something, when we add nutrients to something it grows and it grows more, but the trouble is that you only have to look at social media to see that when you nourish or feed a lie or a message of spite or hate trade, that also grows. And recently I've been talking about how we can create a timeline where we don't allow that in, or that's really about those boundaries. You know, it can be easy to do this in social media to say I've muted people. I've removed news from my timelines . So it's not nourishing me with , with bad, you know, with, with poisonous messages. But unless we're doing that in our day to day lives with the people in our lives, those messages are still going to get through. You know, we all know that person don't, we, that as soon as something bad happens, they can't wait to get on the phone and talk about it. They can't wait to share it on their social media to let everybody know, Oh, woe is me. The drama creators. The trouble is that when we nourish their drama, often it crosses over into our own energy flag . And we find very quickly, we're caught up in that drama with them. And what does that really mean? It means we feel our moods change our mindset shifts because it's being nourished with something that's taking it in totally the wrong direction, but it's growing, you're feeding the drama, you're feeding the attention seeking. So how can you start to put boundaries in place? Well, one of the things I used to do and occasionally do again, when I feel, you know , that would be helpful is I put little notes near the phone or around the edge of my computer screen. That remind me how to end the conversation. If it's going in a direction that I know is bad for me. And it's a little tiny prompts like that, that will allow you to say that's the reminder to myself that it's okay to put up a boundary, to not allow the negative flow. I recently received a call from somebody and within two minutes of saying, hello, how are you? We had started down a negative path. And I knew that this was a pattern for this person. And that really what she wanted me to do was agree with her and nourish her with something to add to this kind of pile of growing drama that she was creating. And that after me, she'd phone, the next person and they could nourish and enlarge and help it grow. So I decided to stop and to say to her, why did you phone to tell me bad news? Don't you think there's enough of that out there at the moment I paused and the pause almost got uncomfortable. And then I heard her sigh and she said, Danny , you're so right. Why do I do this? And we had a really great conversation about it. And actually by helping her break that cycle that day I showed her, perhaps there's a way of phoning people with good news or just finding people to say, hello, you don't need a reason. You don't need to put on a performance that going to nurture you just by saying, Hey, how lovely to hear from me. So think a bit today about who you let through that boundary, who is adding the wrong kind of nourishment. And why aren't you doing something to change that? What drama is it nourishing for you? It's okay. You can change that whenever you're ready . Thank you for joining me on the podcast. If you're enjoying it, please do share it with others. And I hope you'll join me in the next episode. When I'm going to talk a bit about how you can make space to nourish yourself, you just have to stop doing busy. Stop trying to think outside that box. It's purely fictitious bye for now.