No-box-thinking with Dinah Liversidge

December Mind-set Focus Day Six - What are your daily drains?

December 08, 2020 Dinah Liversidge
No-box-thinking with Dinah Liversidge
December Mind-set Focus Day Six - What are your daily drains?
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No-box-thinking with Dinah Liversidge
December Mind-set Focus Day Six - What are your daily drains?
Dec 08, 2020
Dinah Liversidge

In this sixth episode of my December short podcasts on Mind-set I ask what you're spending your focus on that drains you. Are you spending time on things or people who drain your enthusiasm, your energy or your self belief?

Show Notes Transcript

In this sixth episode of my December short podcasts on Mind-set I ask what you're spending your focus on that drains you. Are you spending time on things or people who drain your enthusiasm, your energy or your self belief?

Speaker 1:

Hi, there I'm diner . Liversidge thanks so much for joining me on my podcast. Welcome to the six in my series for December, which is all about focusing on our mindset. And today I thought we talk a bit about what you spend your daily time on. That's draining you. Now. I know an amazing person. Uh , somebody I've been lucky enough to know, gosh, it must be coming on for about 15 years. A remarkable guy called Neil Giller . If you don't know, Neil, look him up on LinkedIn, you can thank me later. And he has the most wonderful expression. Um, every time I hear him say I smile and I stop and think he says, be a radiator, not a drain. It's lovely. Isn't it. And I wonder for those of us who put energy into being that positive person into being the radiator of positive energy of heat, of warmth, of helping others. If you're doing that regularly, and if that's part of who you are, then you will attract the drains. It's a fact of life. Uh , it's like they have a little detector and they can either be something you focus on and think ODL , why do I keep doing the same thing? Why is it that these sorts of people take advantage of me? Because we tend to do that. We give other people ownership of what's happening. When we don't think the behavior is our responsibility, or you can look at what is it I do that attracts them to become part of my daily routine. So why do I find myself complaining about attracting the wrong type of people or what am I doing to attract them and why do I keep doing it? Um, I remember many years ago being told by a friend, you know, if you keep doing the same thing, but expect different results, you're the problem. And yet we do this with people a lot. We will look at a situation and say, why is it that I always find myself with these kinds of people around me? And what we're not doing is, is perhaps owning what it is that we're doing to attract those drains. You see, I think all of us have the ability to be a radiator if we choose to be. And that doesn't mean we can't have days where we're going to pick up the phone to somebody or have a zoom or a WhatsApp chat and say, can I just drain you for a moment? Can I be that negative person for a few minutes? Can I vent? And there's nothing wrong with that. It's real. But it's important that, you know, in that relationship, it's a two way thing that that same person who's listening to you today has that sense that it's safe for them to turn the tables and say, Hey, can I have a moment today? But there are some people who just drain. And if you are allowing them to take up time in your world, I'd love you to think about why, because it is almost certainly your mindset that allows this behavior to kind of repeat itself. When we attract people into our lives as adults, it is often for a reason. If you remember the days when we used to go out socializing, if you were in a big group, you wouldn't spend an evening talking to all the people in the group, you'll find one or two, or maybe most, a few people who you will spend most of the time that you're together talking to. And often what happens if that was a positive experience, is you'll both leave that conversation feeling topped up. You'll feel that you've been around a radiator and that you are now benefiting from that energy and you want to pass it on don't you, there's no better feeling really. So ask yourself who or what are the things in my day and the people in my day that are draining me and what can I do about that for my mindset for 2021? Because that's what we're really focusing on at the moment is how do I own my mindset and make changes to it? So that next year feels more positive. Well, I think one of the things you can control is who you give your time to. And one of the ways you can do that is to decide who are those drains and how can I make sure that instead of thinking, how do I stop being around the drains? Because the more you think about the negative people, the more they'll become part of your , your reality, but instead, think what could I do with that time? Who could I give that time to you? Who is a radiator? Is there a project I could invest my time in that radiates my passion or belief in that project in a way that's positive and helps the project. So I'm going to turn those times that I've been spending with people or things that drain me and invest them in people or things that help me radiate the mindset, the positivity, the , the way I want to be. I don't mean to oversimplify this. And one thing I would say about mindset is it is a daily practice. If you like. I like that idea. We're always practicing aren't we, every day, I, I think I learned something that I find myself thinking, do you know what tomorrow that's going to be useful to me tomorrow that might help me do something in a different way. And I think our mindset as we experience life does become something we realize we have more control over that . Actually, we don't need to keep giving the responsibility for it to others. It's okay to own it and to decide what we focus it on. I hope you've enjoyed this podcast and I hope you'll in a , I hope you'll come back and join me tomorrow for the seventh in this December series. Um, I'd just like to end really by saying one thing, there is no need for you to struggle to think outside that box. There is no box. Thank you for joining me.