I'm Fine. How often have you found yourself resisting help with these words? In this episode I ask if you're turning away nurture and nourishment by resisting help.
I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.
I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.
If you’d like to explore Coaching, take a look at my Mindset Coaching here.
I hope you’re enjoying my Podcasts. I’d love you to share them with someone you think would get something positive from them.
Dinah
Speaker 1:
Hi there. I'm Diana Liversidge. Thanks for joining me on my note box thinking podcast today, I wanted to talk about what you may be resisting help with and how when you do that, you are potentially turning away nourishment that you could really deal with. And that could really support you to move into that strong growth mindset. How often when somebody asks, how you're doing, do you find yourself saying, Oh, I'm fine. Now, anybody in a long-term relationship will tell you that when your partner says I'm fine, the very last thing they are is fine. In fact, often it means let's not go there. And of course, depending on the tone, sometimes it means, please ask, I don't know how to tell you, but I'm absolutely braking. It's amazing how often we will tell people, offering us help that we don't need it. No, thank you. I'm having a great week. No, thanks. I'm too busy to have time with you. No, thanks. I can do that myself. I was in a wheelchair for a long time. Um, just over 11 years and I used to do as much as I possibly could to remain independent. We had a fantastic car, but had a motor in it that lifted my wheelchair up and lifted it out to an angle where I could spin the driver's seat to transfer across. It was fabulous. And I've almost lost. Count of the number of times. People walked up to me and offered me help. You know, for the first few years in that wheelchair, I would stop and really say, no, no thanks. Thanks ever so much, but I'm fine. And as they smiled slightly awkwardly and turned away, I would say in my head, all that was flipping clever. Wasn't it? What did you do that for? Because right up to the moment when they offered, I had been struggling and thinking, I can't believe nobody's offered to help it. Doesn't take a wheelchair for people to notice that we're struggling. Very often, coworkers, friends, partners reach out. And instead of holding up our hands and saying, thank you for noticing, we say no, no, I'm fine. And every time we do that, we turn away the nourishment that they were going to offer. We turn away the chance of something that could have shifted our mindset to a more positive place, to a place perhaps where we can acknowledge. I don't have to do it all. I think I had been in my chair for a good three and a half or even four years before every person who offered to help me got a massive smile. And uh, Oh, thank you. That would be wonderful. Even when I knew I didn't need their help because when I said yes, please, and I let them help me. Both of us got something from that experience. The nourishment went two ways. Why do you keep resisting that help? Who are you really punishing by saying, I'm fine. Sometimes it isn't actually yourself. Maybe it's time to let that be passed. Let that slate be cleaned and accept the help with good grace and with thanks and just decided is meant to be nourishment. It's a great thing to pay it forward. You know, if you feel uncomfortable about accepting something, then make a commitment to pay it forward to someone else. I have a scholarship program because I know there are people who would benefit from some of the programs I offer, but who financially couldn't take part. So I give them a plaque on the understanding. They're going to pay that forward. They're going to invest time in someone else's nourishment because I've given them something to nourish And that beautiful ripple effect nourishes all of us in the chain. So I'd love you today to decide I'm going to stop telling them everything's fine. And the next person who offers me help, Oh, I'm just going to say thank you. That would be wonderful. I hope you found that useful today. And I hope you're enjoying these short podcasts. And if you are, I'd love you to tell other people about them. Thanks for joining me. I hope you'll be back for the next episode where we're going to talk about nature and the impact that has on our mindset. I'm Dinah Leversedge. And remember there is no box.