How can you become fluent in the more positive and constructive mindset language you want to embrace?
I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.
I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.
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Dinah
Speaker 1:
Hi there. I'm Diana Liversidge. And thanks for joining me on my no box thinking podcast. This is the last in my March short podcasts on language and specifically the language for our mindset. I've been looking at how the language we use impacts us on a daily and long-term basis and how often by repeating the same language to ourselves, we can stay really stuck somewhere, really believing this story that we spin ourselves. But as soon as we start to change the language, we can change the results. We can change our fundamental belief in what we're capable of. And also we can change how others perceive us because often the way we talk to ourselves in our head is actually more apparent to others than we think. So today in the last of the series, I wanted to talk about becoming fluent. You know, I've said before, the way, the easiest way to learn at you language is to surround ourselves with people who speak in that language. And then we are forced to do the same or with mindset. It's not as simple as that. Although surrounding ourselves with people who talk, the kind of language that we want to embrace is really helpful. I'm not a fan of that expression, fake it till you make it. I like to counter that with, learn it until you earn it. And with language, this for our mindset is about learning it by using it every single day. And you know, at first this is going to feel fake and forced and challenging and all those things. And that's okay. Most things that are worth doing are not easy. So every day, using the new language that you want to use, that you want to become the standard way you talk to yourself is going to require effort, determination, and some tools to make it easier. And these can be really, really simple. When I first started changing my language about how I felt about accepting a compliment. I wrote thank you on a hundred post-it notes and stuck them all around the house and around the office and around my computer and next to the phone, I mean, they were everywhere and nobody else knew they were there acceptor rather than welded husband, but nobody else just me. And every time I saw them, it reminded me. I'm learning to say, thank you. When someone pays me a compliment rather than, Oh really? No, I don't deserve this. Thanks. So I'm going to find a way to, you know, totally make it null and void and irrelevant. No, I wanted to just say thank you. And so I wrote it all over the place. What it could be that first bit of language that, you know, once I've mastered that I'm going to be able to change the way I speak to myself at a really fundamental level, right. That on those notes and put them all over the place. Perhaps you could change your screensaver on your phone so that when the phone lights up, there you go. That phrase that you want to use more, that thing you want to start saying about yourself with conviction is there to remind you over and over. Oh yes. That's my new mindset language. Here's the thing. This all sounds very, yeah, gosh, that's a lot of hard work. Well, I'm in my I'm 53. I'm going to be 54 this year. I've been using some of my negative language for probably 40 years. It's taken it that long to be really, really part of my genetics. And so to change, it is not going to happen overnight. I am going to have to do deliberate conscious thought about things to change it. Imagine tomorrow being told, okay, from today, you have to write with the other hand, you'd be horrified. You would not expect your writing to be as good. In fact you'd know they were going to be plenty of times that automatically you'd go to pick up the pen with the hand that you always had and you'll have to correct yourself because gosh, I've got to write with this other hand and it feels so different and awkward. So allow yourself to change your mindset language in the same way, the negative words of, Oh, for goodness sake. Haven't I learned this yet or, Oh, there I go again, using the old language are simply feeding the old language. So when you notice yourself not embracing a new term, just remind yourself. It's not yet part of my language. I intend to make it part of my language. So I'm going to gift myself the use this word. I'm going to use it in situations where I previously had chosen something negative or derogatory or, or small making. I'd love to know how you get on as always do each out and let me know. It's lovely to know that people are getting something useful from my focus on mindset. Do join me in my next months, short series, uh, there'll be 10 episodes in April, again, focusing on mindset, but with a slightly different approach, I can't wait for you to join me. And in the meantime, stop fretting about stepping outside that box. There never was one.