What are you telling yourself you can't change? It's a mindset thing!

What do you constantly tell yourself you can't change? Have you ever looked at the real reason behind changes you consistently attempt but fail to make?

I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.

I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.

If you’d like to explore Coaching, take a look at my Mindset Coaching here. 

I hope you’re enjoying my Podcasts. I’d love you to share them with someone you think would get something positive from them. 

Dinah  

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi there I'm Dinah Leversedge. And thanks for joining me on my no box thinking podcast. If this is the first time you're joining me then welcome. I'm so glad you found me. And you'll find that I do 10 short podcasts every month. I really hope that you'll look back and explore because you'll find there's a common theme. I talk a lot about mindset. That's what no box thinking is really all about. It's a mindset that says what box I never needed to think outside the box because I didn't believe it existed. And that's a mind set this month. I'm focusing on change and you know what we tell ourselves about our ability to change and the impact that change has on our lives is also all about our mindset. So today I wanted to ask you a question, what do you constantly tell yourself that you can't change? That's a mindset. Two things might happen to you that aren't in your control, but you can control how you respond to them. You can control how you let those things impact your daily life, your wellness, your self belief, and self confidence, and also your limiting beliefs. And I don't see this flippantly, you know, it can be hugely challenging when massive change occurs in our lives. And I say that from experience, um, with some really fairly dramatic changes and they're not easy, but they don't have to be the drama that we start to build them up to be almost instantly in our minds. And in our language. When we tell ourselves all the time, I can't give this up or I can't change this, or this is just the way it is for me. We've actually chosen a mindset that's very closed. That's probably feeling a bit threatened and that doesn't actually want to make the change. I used to tell myself, gosh, I probably spent 25, even 30 years of my life telling myself I wanted to do something about my weight, but I was big boned and I couldn't do it. And I'd done it loads of times and failed. And actually I've done it loads of times and succeeded too. But here's the thing I really cared enough about being, you know, a skinny or a size zero or however, the terminology is these days, skinny is probably not the right word. That's derogatory. And I don't mean it that way, but being a different shape and a different size obsessed me for a long time and the language I used about not being able to conquer this great thing, this change, I seemed unable to make all of the time. I told myself that what I was really saying to myself was I am failing. I'm a failure. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I don't deserve to lose the weight. And that's a hugely negative thing to spend a very large part of your life, telling yourself. And by the way, I know I'm not alone in that. I have many friends, all of, you know, not just the female gender who have spent years of their lives, worrying about their size and their body shape and their image and their appearance. And it took me until I was in my fifties to realize, you know, the real reason I told myself this concoction of nonsense about my inability to change because of my weight. I didn't lose the weight because it wasn't actually important enough to me. I had so many other things that felt and were more important, but as long as I could tell society that I was dealing with it, that I was doing something about it, that I was trying to lose the weight. But finding that change very difficult, they accepted it and it was okay. She's trying to do something about it. Well, here's my newsflash vibes. I'm not trying to do anything about it. I love being the size. I am. I love my food and my lifestyle. I have a husband. I'm very lucky who adores the size that I am. And I'm going to stop, stop that language. I'm going to stop telling myself I can't deal with my weight, acknowledge that I am happy at the weight I am and move on and make the changes that I actually want to. So what are you telling yourself? You can't change that perhaps your mindset is saying that's not really the change you want to be making. I was only ever fixated on changing my size because I believed all that nonsense out there about not being a good enough human. If I couldn't tick the box that says, Oh yes, she manages her weight. So what are you taking on board and saying, I just can't change this. Instead of I'm not going to change this and I'm going to stop beating myself with it and focus on the thing I want to change. Hi. Yeah. That's got you thinking today. It's a big deal to change your truth, to be honest with yourself about why you choose not to change things. I'd love to hear your story and how you're getting on with your mindset about change. You can contact me on Twitter at Dana Leversedge. You can find me on LinkedIn. And of course, if you come and find me on my website, you can even book one-to-one coaching with me direct. So do you take a look I'd love to hear from you and remember, stop trying to think outside the box. There is no box.