Our ability to change allows us to thrive in relationships. Change is about mindset

What story we tell ourselves about change is often tied to relationships with others. I celebrate 33 years married this month and it has been our ability to change, for and with each other, that is core to that relationship.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi there I'm Dinah Liversidge. Thanks for joining me on my no box thinking podcast.

Speaker 2: 0:10

I

Speaker 1: 0:10

Talk about mindset in this podcast and at the moment I've been focusing on change. We tell ourselves a lot of stories about change and mindset and change are so integrally linked that I felt it was important to look at how the two impact each other and what we can do to embrace, influence and change the way we think about change. April is a really special month for me and this April, 2021, I celebrate 33 years of marriage to my husband, John. I believe it's been our ability to change that has kept us working. We've had to change because of some fairly dramatic things in our world as many couples do, but we've also had to change to accommodate each other. As we grow, as our lives have changed as our desires and our ambitions have changed. And also to really understand for us, I think what's worked is the idea that it's the little things that matter more to somebody else than they matter to you. And those are the things that you sometimes have to accommodate with change that can make a relationship last.

Speaker 2: 1:50

Yeah,

Speaker 1: 1:51

I think I'm a bit of a change expert. My life has changed from everything I mapped out countless times. My motto in life has been very much based on the wonderful, um, Emerson quote, which I love go not where the path may lead, but go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Now I would love to claim to have chosen the route with no path, but, you know, often that's the route I've had to take because of change change that was enforced because of my health or because of a situation I found myself in, in, in a business. Um, and it was deciding that I could view that new path as scary as the way less traveled and therefore perhaps full of danger or that I could embrace it as I believe Emerson intended, which was to, you know, maybe if I go this way, maybe I will discover things that I could only otherwise have dreamt of and perhaps in doing so I will make that way easier for the next person and they for the next and so on Change can cause ripple effects in our lives that go on for many, many years. And we tell ourselves stories about those changes and depending on our personality and our mindset, those stories may always focus on the drama. They may always focus on the things that didn't go according to plan, or we can change that. And we can say, you know what, there have been many changes in my life that have resulted in truly wonderful things. How about I base my future? You know, belief about change my, my head, talk about change. Dare I say my mindset about change on that

Speaker 2: 4:13

Evidence.

Speaker 1: 4:17

I've spoken in the past about the way I end my working day. And it feels like today's a great time to share that with you again, because it helps us create the real current evidence of just how well we do with change. I spend the last 10 minutes at my desk every day, writing my look, what I did today, list. It's a list of things that otherwise may not appear anywhere, but by achieving them and moving forward with them and then acknowledging them. I end my day on a positive. I create my story for tomorrow before today has ended by ending on a high. And as I start my day tomorrow, I look at that list and think, wow, look what I achieved yesterday. Now, imagine if you took that same principle and you said, I'm going to write about my last six

Speaker 2: 5:23

Change. Something

Speaker 1: 5:26

Could be tiny that you changed your haircut, the type of shoes you wear, the way you answer your business phone, whether you have a mobile rigging at weekends or not something small, but that went well right down that evidence. And the next time you believe that story, you tell yourself about your inability to change. Remember that instead start replacing the story that you tell yourself. Thank you for joining me. I hope you've enjoyed the topic we've talked about today. Change this month is going to be a focus for us as we move forward and things in the world are changing yet again and tomorrow, or in the next episode, I'm going to talk a little bit more about what we can learn from nature as it changes so dramatically around us. I hope you'll join me and until then get yourself well, and truly out of that box, it doesn't exist.