Make one change at a time for effective, lasting change.

Change is a mindset matter. Making one change at a time, instead of the that long list, is going to  allow you to change your mindset about your ability to change things in your life.

I’m Dinah Liversidge and I’m a Coach and Trainer, a Celebrant and co-host of The Charcoal Hut, a woodland cabin in Myddfai, Carmarthenshire. I’m also a no-box-thinker. I believe when we stop trying to ‘think outside the box’ we take away labels and limitations that were always an illusion. There never was a box.

I love being a Coach, a Celebrant and a Host. All these aspects of my life help me achieve that illusive ‘work-life balance’ so many seem to be striving for. Join me in Myddfai in our woodland garden for a #MyddfaiMinute and listen to one minute of birdsong. I hope it brings you some peace.

If you’d like to explore Coaching, take a look at my Mindset Coaching here. 

I hope you’re enjoying my Podcasts. I’d love you to share them with someone you think would get something positive from them. 

Dinah  

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi there

Speaker 2: 0:03

I'm Dinah Liversidge. Thanks for joining me on my no box thinking podcast. This month in my series of 10 short mindset podcasts, I'm focusing on change and we've looked at how we tell ourselves stories about our ability to change and about how our language impacts those stories. We've also looked a bit at nature and how we can learn so much from the changes that go on in nature every year and help us to see the patterns. And often at the end of the kind of trauma, we've all been going through in 2020, it allows us to see that despite everything that positive change continues.

Speaker 1: 0:55

Yes.

Speaker 2: 0:58

So today in the ninth of the 10 episodes for April, I wanted to talk about one of the really kind of strong suggestions I make to my coaching clients when we work on change together. And that is that we change one thing at a time.

Speaker 1: 1:21

It

Speaker 2: 1:21

Can be really easy to create a list of changes we need to make that becomes so long. It's actually self destructive. It's like we're going to create a self fulfilling prophecy because we will make it so difficult to achieve this long list of changes that at the end of it, we can say, see, I knew I couldn't change that, but actually we really could change. We can change most things. If we allow ourselves enough time and support to change them, one thing at a time, So much more likely to succeed. And you are also so much easier able or more able to, I think you can say easier able you are more able to measure the impact that that individual change has had. If you change too many things at once, you don't really know which of those changes is having the impact you wanted. I have often done things like, like changing the way I eat and I'll remove one item of food and see if that helps me. Does it make me feel differently about how hungry I, I noticed, um, about halfway through lockdown that I'd started to eat crisps again, something I hadn't done for, for a lot of years. And I removed just that one food item from my daily routine. And I did that by saying, I'm going to change what I do when I have that dip in my energy at about five 30 and instead of reaching for something to eat and a drink that ended up being crisps. Instead, I'm going to go outside and have what I call tree time instead of me, time, because I live in a Woodland, I go and I spend 10 or 15 minutes in the trees. And the wonderful thing that it does for me is it completely allows me to quiet and calm myself and to be really in the moment. And often I realize I'm not hungry at all. That was purely a habit. And as a result, by changing that one thing, I knew it worked because I didn't miss the crisps. I still don't miss the crisps, but boy, do I miss tree time if it's pouring down with it?

Speaker 1: 4:15

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 4:18

The one thing that you're not changing, one thing at a time, there's that big goal or that thing that you keep talking yourself out of, you say, I've tried to change that before, but it didn't work. I can't do that. That's the step too far. That's just the way I am. Well, I challenge you to look at it and say, is it possible that I was struggling to make that change? Because I was trying to change too many steps in the process all at once. If I look at it as a bigger goal, as a series of changes, how can I break it down into individual steps? And then I can celebrate each one that I successfully change and I can see where they're making the difference.

Speaker 1: 5:13

Yes.

Speaker 2: 5:18

I'd love to know how you get on. And I'd love you to think about that. 10, 10, 10 from my previous suggestion about looking at the impact change has had so far for you. And maybe say, I'm going to allow this one change for 10 days before I decide whether it's worth sticking with it. And then maybe after 10 weeks, I'll take another look at it and say, has it has, uh, a positive impact? Can I measure the way that has rippled out and impacted other things I'm doing? Maybe now I'm ready to take change. Number two, one step at a time. I hope you'll join me in the next podcast. It's the last one in the series this month talking about change. And I'm going to talk about your mindset and the fundamental change that you can make in that I hope you'll join me. And in the meantime, stop trying to think outside the box. There is no box.